The secret that makes "discipline" effortless

"Discipline".

Let's be honest, we hate this word.
You have hated it. I have hated it.
Why? For good reasons.

Why we hate "discipline"

Let's go back down the memory lane for a minute.

Remember as little kids, we naturally felt like playing all the time? Be it organising a plastic animal fight or flying kites or playing cricket on the roof.

And then, this word “discipline” made its unwelcomed entry in our lives. It becomes a “moral conduct” that our parents & teachers would remind us of again and again.

Mumma says - ”Beta, be disciplined - it’s time for study. Switch off the TV.”

‍Class teacher says - ”Boys - pin drop silence. Finger on the lips!”

And since then, the feeling that this word "discipline" invokes in us is always that of “restraint”. To not do “what you naturally feel like doing”. To do the boring stuff instead.

And even though we have grown up to be mature adults now - that kid inside us still feels the same dread and resentment when confronted with this word “discipline”.

As adults, we do realise that we ought to bring that “discipline” in our lives to become fit or to build that business or to become financially free. Probably the most cliched new year resolution is - “Enough. This year I will finally be disciplined!”

And then of course, these resolutions work for 3-4 weeks at best, before the burden of discipline becomes too heavy to sustain. We have all been there.

You see, the problem here is not “discipline”, the problem is the meaning we have assigned to it unconsciously.

We feel discipline means “obedience to the rules”. That is the problem.

None of us like to obey the “rules” - whatever they are.
None of us like to be told what to do. ‍

Who gets to decide these rules for us anyway?

The true meaning of discipline

What we need here is a shift of meaning and perspective. Here is a small correction in the same definition -

❌ “Discipline is obedience to rules.”‍

✅ ”Discipline is obedience to self-formulated rules.”‍

Suddenly, discipline sounds like something liberating, and not restraining! Doesn't it?

I first heard this definition from Aristotle, the greek polymath who lived in 300 BC. And this shift in perspective totally changed my life.

‍”Discipline is obedience to self-formulated rules.”

Sounds like great news right? We get to decide our own rules. We get to decide what kind of lives do we want to live.

We get to decide what kind of person do we want to become. We get to decide what are our goals in the 3 major life are - health, wealth and relationships.

Once we have decided that, it follows naturally of course that it “won’t happen by wishing”.

Setting goals is worthless if we don't then formulate a "plan" or a "system" to reach those goals. As the wise Jim Rohn said - "People who fail to plan are planning to fail."

We have to “make it happen” by:

- understanding what "key tasks" need to be done to actualise our goals
- at what weekly/monthly frequency do these tasks need to be done
- and finally planning those tasks into our weekly schedule where they fit best

Simple, isn't it.

In a nutshell, you will have to say “yes” to doing those tasks at some “effective frequency” on a weekly basis.

And when you say "yes" to that one task at it's appointed hour, you say "no" to everything else. ("focus" is the fastest way to do a task well.)

That task may be -

• getting a workout done 3 times a week (Goal - "to become lean and strong")
• playing with your kids 4-6 hrs each week (Goal - "to be a present parent.")
• having a date night with your girlfriend/wife on Saturdays (Goal - "to make time for love & shared experiences")
• or talking to your mother/father on call 2 hrs each week (or in person if you have that luxury!) (Goal - "to not let parents feel alone in old age")

Put simply, discipline is simply good decision making at each hour of our day.

Discipline is simply having a clear answer to this question at every hour - "What is the most valuable use of my time right now?”

And planning that to a rough degree in advance ensures you don’t go through your day with your fingers crossed. Instead, you go through your day with a centred mind - with a sense of peace and calm. I was watching a TV series "Peaky Blinders" and I loved that Thomas Shelby dialogue - When you plan things well, there is no need to rush.‍

Thought Experiment

In an imaginary world, where you could delegate all your tasks to your assistant or AI - this definition would become -”Discipline is simply good decision making automated.”

‍And to make progress towards any goal - it is basic common sense that good decisions must be made consistently either by you, or by someone else. So if you could just automate good decision making, then voila - reaching your goals just becomes a matter of time!

Now let’s come back to real world.

Truth is you can not delegate the key tasks of your life. You can not delegate tasks like “working out”, or “family time” or “mentoring your kids or your team” or “study time to learn something that really interests you” or the “part of your job that only you can do and you specialise in”.

These are the key tasks that lead to self-growth in any area of our life, and they evolve as we grow on our journeys. You can not automate it, but the next best thing you can do is to set up disciplines for it. And reaching those goals can indeed become "just a matter of time".

"Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment." - Jim Rohn

Discipline is not "work"

Discipline is not work. Discipline is harmony between play and work. Discipline will make sure you don't let your work affect your health or family life, by setting boundaries between each. By prioritising tasks of each area at a pre-decided appointed hour.

Good Question, isn't it - "What is the most valuable use of my time right now?”.

‍Bear in mind, I am not promoting toxic productivity. Maybe the best use of time right now is “to go out shopping” or “date night” or “just sit back and relax, zoom out and unwind.”

Neither do I endorse non-flexibility. Rules are made to be broken sometimes! But having them in the first place takes care of you 90% of the time.

When the clock arrives for the planned task, you simply do it. You don’t think whether or not you should do it..umm what else could I been doing right now..umm.‍

‍No. That's a waste of precious time. You do this now, and everything else is already taken care of in your "plan".

Note that nowhere did we say, discipline means doing what we don’t want to do - the boring work and humdrum monotony. Heck, I am putting date nights and a glass of wine in the same breath as I am putting “working out”.

Let me clarify this more with an example.

Here is the “obedience to rules” thinking paradigm:
”I want to become fit. So I must workout everyday. I will be disciplined and workout early morning 5 am every day.”

Here is the “obedience to self-formulated rules” thinking paradigm:
”I want to build my best physique, and Hypertroph videos tell me I need to workout at least 3 times a week for effective results. Okay, I will start with 3 days a week - Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 2 pm. Because that time slot works best for me.”

Which person is more likely to stick with “discipline”?

The one with emotional thinking or the one with rational thinking?

The one with "imposed rules against his innate nature" or the one with "self-formulated rules of his own accord".

The price of Indiscipline

And let's be very clear here - what other options do we have? 

If we don't obey self-formulated rules - we will end up following rules that others decide and that may not be in our best interests.

Or even worse - that “no one decides for us”, we just end up following the lead of the fate, instead of leading our own fate.

In the first case, we would react to every hour of the day in a stressful manner. In other case, we will respond to each hour as it comes in a calm manner. ‍

Same task, but it can feel light or heavy depending on how you think about it. Depending on how you fit it in the big picture of your life.

In lack of discipline - we become puppets to random moods, cravings and notifications. We find ourselves to be always busy - yet never productive!

Jocko Willink, a retired Navy SEAL and author, said it best-
”Discipline is your best friend. It will take care of your like nothing else can.”‍

Discipline is like your personal invisible genie for self-management.

Discipline = Freedom

Here's an unfailing truth of life - the degree of freedom you enjoy in any area of your life is in direct proportion to the degree of discipline you have employed in that area.

If you see someone who is rich (financially free) - chance are they took the time to set clear meaningful goals in the “Wealth” area of their life, and then setup disciplines to ensure good decision making on a regular basis.

If someone is fit and in a great shape (disease free) - chances are they took the time to set clear meaningful goals in the “Health” area of their life, and then setup disciplines to ensure good decision making on a regular basis.

All the philosophers, psychologists, scientists & yogis over the centuries have arrived at one common conclusion-

The human mind can not find the state of happiness without discipline. True freedom is impossible without a mind made free by discipline.

I you'd spend an year reading all the religious texts & prominent self-help books - you will find this to be one of first principles.

More than anything, discipline brings you a peace of mind that nothing else can. You feel you are being “true to yourself”.

From our discussion here, it follow that living with discipline simply means living with intention. To live your life well - means to use your time well. And to use your time well to live the life you want - is discipline. Be it a workout session, or a dance class or family time or travelling to greece - you define what you want in life and then you formulate your rules pragmatically. You make your plan for action.

"The more you discipline yourself to use your time well, the happier you will feel and the better will be the quality of your life in every area." - Brian Tracy

Wake up at 5 am or 7 am or 8 am - your choice.
Train 3 days or 5 days - your choice.
Train at 5 am or 1 pm - your choice.

Discipline is “obedience to self formulated rules”. :)

I love how the great author Paulo Coelho puts it -

‍"Discipline and freedom are not mutually exclusive but mutually dependent because otherwise, you’d sink into chaos. Freedom is not the absence of discipline, but the ability to choose and act responsibly."

‍Freedom is the degree to which you can control your own life.

To bring it full circle, with what Aristotle concluded in his life-

"Through discipline, comes freedom."

Good questions to ask ourselves from time to time -

• If I keep going the way I have been going, where will I reach in next 2 years? Is that a destination where I want to be.
• Have I taken the time to define “where I am going” in each area of my life. [Goals]
• Whose rules am I following? Whose life am I living? Whose drums am I marching to? Am I following self-formulated rules or just “random rules”.

That's all I wanted to share in this issue, hope it was valuable to you! :)

Thanks for reading The Hypertroph Letter.
Have a great week!

_
Siddharth.